Jade's Fomicry Experiment
by Blade Liger Knight
Summary: In need of a laugh? Look no further! The title speaks for itself no? What happens when Jade conducts an experiment? The gang gets turned into wolves that's what! Many antics ensue. Some LxT and GxN fluff. 2nd chap is a crossover with the ToSymphonia gang.
1. Chaos Ensues

**- Jade's Fomicry Experiment -**

**Disclaimer: If I owned TotA, I would have made this an actual scene in the game. No, I don't own IT or anyone IN it...**

AN: This was just some strange(though funny as heck!) idea I had one night before bed. Surprisingly it is spoiler free, so anyone can read it without worry. Has some NataliaxGuy, and LukexTear fluff. They might seem ooc to some people, but in my opinion, this is how I would see them act if they were placed in this situation.

Updated notice: For those of you that are only reading this for the crossover with ToSymphonia portion(and don't care one way or another about Tales of the Abyss) skip to the next chapter. Otherwise, if you like Tales of the Abyss then carry on reading this chapter. :)

--

Somewhere on a snowy continent, near the edge of a forest, a campfire flickered among the white atmosphere, six figures centered around it for warmth.

Luke and Tear sat together, a log beneath them and the campfire a safe distance away as Tear read from a book about hyperresonance, Luke listened intently beside her.

Not too far away, Guy sat on a boulder, sharpening his sword while Natalia imitated, only her attention was draw to the activity of fixing her arrows.

Anise lay on her back, hands pillowed behind her head, and making good use of Tokunaga as a bed, the snow being too cold for her to bother with.

Jade sat on a small log, legs crossed and a book in his hands as he feigned reading it and glanced around, observing the group with a slight twinge of amusement. Oh this was going to be _good_.

Careful not to draw attention to himself, Jade mouthed the words to his spell, no one payed him any mind. He smirked and finished with the snap of his fingers; no one else was expecting what happened a second later.

Yelps and screeches ensued as heaps of clothes lay on the ground where the unsuspecting victims had previously been. Soon enough, after a delayed moment of silence and shock, movement could be seen and they all began moving out from under the loose clothing.

Jade watched it all as though it were a play made just for him. He himself had also been transformed, though for the strangest of reasons his clothes remained fixed on his new shape; who'd of thought.

A long reddish snout peaked out of Luke's shirt, he looked around, a mortified look in his eyes as he seen that he had suddenly been ambushed by a pack of wolves! Reaching for his sword, he now realized, his hand and, most importantly, his opposable thumb had been replaced by a primitive two way pivoting paw! He had meant to let out a scream of terror but only a whimper was provided as he backed out of his shirt to get a better look at the entirety of the ordeal.

The group of wolves all looked around cautiously, their pelts reflecting their normal hair color. Tear, Luke guessed, was the closest to him and she was copper from head to...to tail, he noted in a mixture of awe and confusion.

Both Guy and Natalia shared a similar blond hue, while Anise poked her adorable raven black head out of the snow, which she had been buried in, after Tokunaga had deflated. Guy looking over his new body excitedly "Wow, this is cool! What happened?" he wondered, flexing his new claw digits and making them click.

Jade's face, tail, and paws reflecting his usual brown hair, he looked them over with an impassive expression. "My apologies, I had merely been conducting this experiment on myself, but it somehow effected all of you as well," he said in monotone as though he were commenting on the weather. "I'll get to work on the counter spell, in the mean time just try to have fun." He turned and walked away, to where, no one cared to know at the moment.

Guy continued to marvel at his new form, even going so far as to sharpen his claws on the boulder; whether wolves did this or not made little difference to him.

Natalia sighed, her new furry ears and head low as she regarded Anise with a look of indifference as the young black wolf, half the size of the rest, came to sit next to the blond female. "Boo, this stinks," Anise pouted with a shiver; the snow was not at all a welcoming seat.

Luke nearly cried. "This is embarrassing!" he exclaimed after walking out of his pants and noticing that certain things were crudely exposed to the world. He immediately dropped to a down position, and although he was met with a cold wave across his belly, it was better than the alternative.

It was at this point that Mieu woke up from his nap, and he sleepily crawled out of the bag he had claimed as his nest. A simple glance around and he somehow was able to decipher the situation. "Master! What's wrong?" Aside from also knowing which wolf was Luke, the blue cheagle had recognized his distress as well.

"Sh-shut up Mieu, you wouldn't understand," Luke grumbled, a glare fixed on his canine features among his shivering.

The girls all giggled at his embarrassment, but that quickly died down as Guy had made his way over to some trees. He laughed along with the girls and shamelessly lifted his leg, disgracing the trees without a single thought to decency.

Natalia rolled her eyes. "No happy mediums around here," she droned, unimpressed.

Anise merely flopped to her stomach and covered her eyes with her paws. This was all just a big nightmare, none of it was real. She hoped if she kept couching herself it really would just be a dream... a really funny dream she could relate to the group when she woke up.

She knew it wasn't to be when she looked up to see Tear sitting next to her now, a funny curious look on her face. The black pelt with marble eyes and a short pup snout sat up, a bit suspicious. "What?"

Tear's wolf form smiled and chucked Anise's maw. "Anise you're so cute like that," Tear cooed with a melting voice. "I just love puppies!" she exclaimed, her excitement bubbling over as she seemed to have come down with the same delusional disease as Guy, whom at the moment was quite happy pouncing around after a snow rabbit.

Anise frowned, looking over to Natalia for help. "I don't really look like a puppy... do I?" she wondered, and began looking herself over, not waiting for an answer.

Upon seeing her own fluffy tail, Anise scowled at it as she moved it to and fro. "Yeah, you are quite adorable, I must say," Natalia managed between giggles.

Guy returned, panting as he perching himself over his boulder. "This is great! These bodies really know how to get around!"

The girls didn't reply, Anise just glared, she didn't understand how anyone could be that happy about such a predicament, sort of like how certain people are so maddeningly perky in the early morning hours; she then aimed her glare at Tear, she was one of those morning people.

Natalia tried to ignore him. The truth of the matter was that she really _did_ want to release her inner beast, but as the princess she knew better; she was to represent her country at all times with honor and proper etiquette. She groaned inwardly, how desperately she just wanted to run and play in this new agile body. Also, something about the idea of chasing Guy, and visa versa, intrigued her. It puzzled her as to why though, she never desired that sort of activity before.

Tear simply thought him amusing and found that it took all of her self control to contain her laughter to a mere smile. Her military training seemed to have evaporated completely somewhere between Luke's bashfulness, Anise's cuteness, and Guy's playful antics. She found this whole ordeal hilarious, and she gave her head a cant, her eyes soft and pitiable when she noticed Luke shivering, as though he would catch pneumonia if he lay in the snow any longer.

Luke's canines soon began to chatter, he seemed to forget that it wasn't a wolf trait, but at the moment he just wanted sympathy; he would soon be both surprised and shocked at how well it was about work.

Guy's ears perked up and he regarded Luke with a curious look. "What's wrong Luke? If you're cold why don't you run around some? That'll get you warmed up!"

Tear wasn't sure what had possessed her to say or do what followed, all she really knew for sure was that she wanted to help the shivering red wolf, and if his embarrassment followed, then that was just a bonus. "I think I know what would work better," the copper colored wolf said slyly and before Luke knew what was happening, Tear had already crossed over to him. He tensed as he looked up at her in terror, he even had the shivering to prove it.

The other three watching in a dead silence, wondering what she had planned for the poor defenseless red pelt of a wolf. Tear raised one looming fore paw, Luke flinched, expecting she was about to instigate a spar, but what came next he definitely did not have in his mental list of possibilities, or anyone's for that matter. He felt her warm body press against his, her previously raised fore paw was now hooked around his shoulders where her head soon came to rest near his.

Everyone, the trio of onlookers, gaped in amazement and disbelief alike. Guy was the first one to come out of it, with a smirk no less. "Well, I suppose that might work a _little_ faster," he joked in defeat to his previous offer.

Anise and Natalia fought to compose themselves, now joking amongst themselves of how cute _they_ looked together. Anise got a big kick out of this since she was always the one being picked on as the cute one.

Luke was the most mortified of them all, as it basically took him an entire moment longer for his eyes to pop back into his skull. Now he was grateful for his red coat, otherwise everyone would have seen his massive blush by now.

Between the girls' giggling and Luke's predicament, Guy set his gaze on Natalia with a wry smirk. He knew all about her little princess honor motto. Well, he wasn't about to let that stop him.

At this point Tear, or Luke for that matter, did not know what was coming over her as she nudged Luke's head with her own, demanding some recognition, and at first, Luke did not understand, nor did he even think he was meant to, but he soon assumed it was some sort of game and he quickly replied with similar movements. Before long he had completely forgotten that he was ever cold, or that they had an audience, as they even began nipping at one another playfully. He also soon forgot about his previous embarrassment as Tear rolled him over on his back without much effort.

Ignoring the snuggling couple, Guy hopped off his rock and now stood in front of the two females, and to their irritation, blocking their view as they had made Luke and Tear their new form of entertainment. "Come on ladies," he said through a toothy grin. "Let's play a little game."

By now, Tear still had Luke pinned on his back and they both proceeded in licking, nipping, and pawing at each other, before long it didn't matter who dominated who because their positions were changed so rapidly that it was soon impossible to keep track.

The hair on Anise's back stood up a bit, she didn't like the sound of a game coming from Guy. Natalia on the other hand was quite interested at this point, and her princess duties were shifting further and further to the back of her mind.

Guy's wry grin hadn't faded, and he had found that his phobia wasn't near as bad in this wolf body, but he didn't dwell on such a minute detail as he swiftly tapped Anise on the shoulder and took off like a bolt. "You're it!" He was full of confidence since he had already been able to test out his new body, he knew the ins and outs of which muscles to flex and in what positions his four legs were to come together with the snow so as not to slip or stumble.

Anise quirked up an odd look, as if Guy had lost his mind. "What?" The adolescent pup shook her head with fake indignation. "Oh, you did not just tag me!" she growled and stood, about to run him down.

"What do you mean "tag"?" Natalia wanted to know and quickly collected the stares from both Guy and Anise, since Luke and Tear were completely immersed in their own activities to notice anything else at the moment. Natalia felt it necessary to explain when Guy returned to sit in front of her with naught but sympathetic concern on his features; hadn't she ever played tag before? "I'm a princess, I have no time to play these silly games..." After a moment of gaping on both Guy and Anise's part, she lowered her head slyly. "How do you play?"

Taking advantage of Guy's proximity, Anise pushed him. "You're it," she said, as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.

Guy glared at her shortly but soon brought his head up to Natalia in a devious smirk, making him appear more like a fox than a wolf as he circled around her, and Natalia warily followed his movements with her head. Whatever he had planned, she was ready for it, she would show everyone how much fun she could be. "Well, I'm "it" now, which means I have to chase you two, but if I touch you," he paused for emphasis and came up close to her, so close that Natalia could see and feel his warm breath before he poked her shoulder. "Then you're it!" he finished and took off like a bandit. "I should have no problem at all running away from females!" He laughed when Natalia made a pouting face and started for him.

The game had been officially instituted and much laughter and barking ensued as the pair on the other side of camp had created their own version of the game, consisting of running and tackling as it didn't appear to have any set of rules to speak of. And at any given moment Luke would let Tear tower over him, as it seemed to confuse her and that amused him the most. After awhile the pair grew tired of that game and set out to make a nest of sleeping bags, since they couldn't rightly array them in any logical formation due to the lack of hands. Curling up together near the fire, the pair had realized they were both suddenly colder than before, and rightly so after rolling around in the snow like idiots.

They happily settled into a single sleeping bag and watched as the trio continued their romp in the snow. By now Natalia had already tagged Guy once and was promptly tagged right back, since she was now "it" for the second time. Now she decided to change her strategy, she noticed Anise had grown bored due to the one sided game of tag, though she had also let her guard down, and when Guy and Natalia zipped by her for the umpteenth time, she was not expecting the smaller of the two blond wolves, due to gender, to swerve in her direction, but she was able to react enough so in order to leap backward, causing Natalia to sprawl forward as she slipped and received a snout full of white powder as her target had barely escaped her grasp. The little black fur ball hopped around proudly, taunting her pursuer as Natalia took a moment to recover, this four legged thing was tough to get used to!

Guy drew beside Anise and howled. "Whoo, what a work out, aren't you girls tired yet?" he asked as he cautiously came near to Natalia, who had yet to pick her head up from the snow much less her entire body and Guy grew a bit worried. "Say, you alright Natalia?"

When he lowered his head to come almost nose to nose with her, he yelped as she tackled him with a vicious speed. "Ah-Hah! I got you!" the princess declared victoriously, as if she had just won an important battle.

"No fair, that was a sneak attack!" Guy whined from underneath her.

"_Gee, I didn't see that coming from a mile away."_ Anise rolled her eyes at the blond pair and trudged back over to the dying campfire, only to roll her eyes a second time when she seen the other couple cuddled together in a sleeping bag. Tear's head lay crisscrossed with Luke's, his overlapping hers, almost protectively, though neither of them payed the positions much mind as they did for comfort. "Aw, Tear you're so _cute_ like that," Anise copied Tear's phrase as she came to sit in front of them, her voice dripping with a sickly cute tone.

The couple regarded the mischievous black cub neutrally, Tear choosing to ignore the girl's gibe, while Luke gave his head an odd tilt. "Do you want in Anise?" Luke wanted to know. "We can't really stoke the fire so it'll be better if we sleep together," he explained and tried to move over but the cloth only allowed for so much stretching, and although their wolf forms were a bit smaller and more conveniently compact, the one sleeping bag was big enough for the two of them, but only just.

Anise quirked a silly face. "Uh, no that's alright, I'll just bunk with Guy and Natalia and make sure they keep things PG tonight. I figure you two already have Mieu to keep an eye on you're_ instincts_." With that said the wolf pup set off to dig around in the remaining floor of sleeping bags, in search of the most comfortable spot.

At the sound of his name, Mieu popped his head out from between Luke and Tear, he had it made; that was probably the warmest place for a creature his size to find.

Luke and Tear's eyes went wide with a blush. Anise's insinuation did more then she expected as they glanced to each other, almost rubbing noses in the process and making them flush deeper. That suggestion hadn't even seemed to cross their mind until now, and now that it had, the very thought was creating an uncomfortable rift in the small, almost nonexistent, space between them. Sleeping together was suddenly starting to sound very improper. "Er, um, m-maybe I should find my own blanket," Luke stammered.

"N-no, Mieu's happy, and I don't mind if you don't," Tear answered, glancing down at the said creature as he went about sleeping as though nothing had happened.

"Ah, what does Anise know anyway," Luke said. "But just yell at me if you start to feel crowded or anything and I'll leave."

Tear gave a small chuckle. "Or anything?" she repeated in a light mock tone as she nuzzled around his neck. "You better leave Luke, I think this is the "anything" happening."

Luke tensed when she started licking his face and nudging his head for the second time in the past hour. Was she just trying to confuse him, or did she really want him to leave? But if she really did want him to leave, then why was she demanding attention like that.

He suddenly felt a strange fuzzy feeling run up his spine and he couldn't restrain the urge to engage with the same gestures to her. Pretty soon they were vying for turns to show affection. This went on even after Guy and Natalia had joined Anise for bed. The threesome had simply huddled together, sandwiched and weaved about in a pile of sleeping bags and blankets.

"Wow Guy, I just noticed, you're phobia hasn't seemed to bother you at all lately," Natalia observed when she noted her position on one side of him, Anise occupied the space on the other. Making Guy feel quite proud of himself, since there were now two females on either side of him and he wasn't even trembling!

"Well," he started, a bit hesitant. "It's still there, but I can control it better for some reason." He looked over to the red and copper wolves when he heard giggling. Luke was pawing and nibbling playfully at Tear's ears, which explained the female's laughter. Guy suddenly grew frisky at the sight. "Hey Natalia, you up for another game?" he asked, his tail wagging impishly underneath the blanket. "It involves me, you, and a little bit of foreplay." His tone suggestive with a sly edge.

"Shh!" Natalia hissed at him angrily and proceeded to do so in a hushed tone. "Guy! That was a highly improper thing to say in front of a child!" She then snipped at him, disgusted.

"Well, in my defense, she is asleep," Guy said, a dumb disappointment on his face; the one time he could be intimate with a woman and there just had to be something, or rather, someone preventing him from doing so.

"No, she's not," Anise mumbled, her eyes remained closed but she had been listening the whole time. "Oh, but don't mind me, after all I'm just an innocent little _puppy_." She waved her paw around as if she didn't care and moved away a bit to ignore them further. "Far be it from me to stop you from doing something you'll regret."

Guy grinned, looking to Natalia expectantly. "Well, you heard her!"

She scowled. "Let me rephrase that: That was a highly improper thing to say... Period!"

Guy sighed in defeat, glancing again back to the snuggling pair longingly. Tear was making it so easy for him, but Luke didn't have a clue what he was doing. It really bogged his mind of how innocent they could be at times. The blond sighed again and rested his long chin on the floor of blankets. He wasn't expecting to feel Natalia's warm breath, much less her body heat when she set her head over his. "This is all you get, understand?"

Guy smiled, his tail wagging lightly with happiness as he tried to nod but found that the new weight prevented him from doing so.

By now Luke had grown tired of keeping up with Tear's...exuberance seemed like the best term as she continued rubbing against him undaunted until he cupped his mouth over her muzzle. That, he hoped, was a dominate behavior, as well as a cute, he also hoped, way of telling her he'd had enough.

Tear seemed to get the hint as she pushed his baring jaws away with one forearm and little effort. She laughed inwardly; Luke was so utterly easy to manipulate. Perhaps that was one reason she trusted him so much in a situation like this.

Finally, all was quiet between the small pack of unnatural wolves as the sun steadily hid itself over the horizon.

Jade walked on his two human legs toward camp, his time alone had been quite peaceful, though he did, for a time, miss being among the group's banter. Before he had gotten too close, the Necromancer transformed himself back into wolf form so as not to seem suspicious. He set himself on an vacant sleeping bag, as if it had been laid out specifically for him. He smirked at the happy couples, plus pup and cheagle; morning was going to be interesting.

--

Morning was well on its way when Natalia woke up to Guy shifting in his sleep. She snuggled closer to him, not yet ready to greet the day as she decided to stay put for awhile longer. Jade would probably return soon and change them all back, and Guy's phobia would return instantly. Natalia knew she wouldn't be able to be this close to him for some time... at least, not until he was properly conditioned.

Unbeknownst to her that Jade had already returned in the middle of the night, and that he was already awake and plotting atop a hill not too far away, just waiting for the right moment to spring the surprise.

Luke and Tear slept with their noses crisscrossing each other, their breathing in sync and peaceful, while their wolf limbs entangled with one another questionably.

Mieu lay curled up near their heads while Anise had found her own warm nest, away from everyone; she wasn't used to being shifted and pushed in her sleep, she rightly didn't understand how the others could stand it either.

Jade smirked as he lay on the snow, his paws crossed casually as he watched over them the way a parent might watch over his children. He had actually been observing the group the entire time now and again, though he had spent the other half of his time enjoying some silence and solitude. For whatever reason he had decided to instigate this odd experiment, he wasn't really sure himself, but the fact that it drew the group closer together was incentive enough, and seeing them now made him smile. This was something he rarely admitted to himself, but they really did mean a lot to him. If nothing else, his "children" were quite entertaining to watch.

The sun began its ascent over the mountains and Jade readied himself for a show. Oh the wonders that would ensue when they woke to find themselves back in their human forms...And scrambled to find their clothes.

Now Jade had a twisted sadistic smile on his brown muzzle before snapping his claws as though they were fingers. Oh, now _this_ was going to be _good._

--

AN: The second chapter is the ToA-ToS crossover, so continue to that if you like the Tales of Symphonia characters.


	2. Chaos Arrives

**- Jade's Fomicry Experiment -**

**Disclaimer: No, I don't own ToA or ToS or anyone IN either game...Though I really, _really_ wish I had a Corrine plushie! Bwahaha! Maybe I'll just make one!(shifty eyes)**

AN: Well here it is, the addition to my quirky one-shot, which will now make it a quirky two-shot... Nay? Try to keep an open mind, and enjoy, but mostly, I hope you laugh.:) Warning, there's a lot of Sheelos floating around in here... and other hinted cannon pairs. Not to mention that Zelos is really bad in this... So forewarned as you are, you may proceed...

Summery: For those of you that are only in this for the ToS portion (which may be the case for many of you) and didn't want to bother with the first chapter, here is somewhat of a summery: Well, to put it simply, Jade from ToA has been feeling bored as of late, so what is a bored mage to do? Apparently in my story, he turns everyone into wolves whether they like it or not... To make matters even more entertaining for him, our heroes from Symphonia show up, and are automatically transformed into fluffy, four legged canines as well. When will the madness ever cease?... When Jade has had his fill, that's when.

--

It had started out as a perfectly miserable day. "Jade!" the group of wolves growled in something of an annoyed unity.

And it was going to continue... The misery that is...

"I apologize," he drolled, looking over the group with a dense lack of interest. Inwardly, however, he was laughing and smiled as though it was natural, but it was anything _but _natural for the Colonel, and so he hid it behind his stony features.

"At least have the decency to warn us beforehand!" Natalia hissed, fidgeting with her loose clothing. She sat, refusing to move until her sour mood was attended to. They had been walking for a few hours now, and ever since they left camp that morning no one had said anything more than a few words each. The morning's scramble after waking up had been most...disturbing. Natalia shook her head with a shudder and fixed a new glare on Jade. "That goes for turning us _back_ as well."

Jade quirked up a funny look. "But that's hardly any fun for me, besides, if I did that... You would all no doubt try and stop me."

"Exactly!" they all shouted, all but Guy of course, since he was already prancing circles around everyone.

"Aw come on guys, let's just make the best of it, I know I am!" said the blond male as he drew beside Natalia excitedly. "You up for another round Natalia?" He grinned. "Bet you can't catch me this time."

Natalia tried to ignore him. "I'm not getting anywhere _near_ you," she stated harshly, a little too harshly she noticed, and frowned when Guy nodded sadly and began moving away. "I-I mean, after what happened this morning-" Natalia was abruptly cut off as the youngest of their group hopped up onto a nearby boulder, her black-gray ears forward and her muzzle smirking with sly enjoyment.

"Forget about what happened this morning, besides, it was the funniest thing ever! I only wish I hadn't slept through half of it," Anise said, frowning now. "Honestly Colonel, you wreck all my fun." She sent said colonel a pouting lip face, which was either promptly ignored or unnoticed entirely. "Making Tear cast nightmare on me until everyone was dressed," she grumbled. "Despicable."

"Come now Anise, you're far to young to be watching R rated scenes like that," Jade replied, hiding a smirk under his placid mask as the other four present could do little more than blush, avoiding eye contact with anyone. "What would your parents do to me if I allowed such a thing to transpire?"

"But I see other R rated scenes!" Anise argued. "Or does blood, violence, and killing not qualify?" She tapped a claw on the rock impatiently.

Jade raised his paws in his usual: _"I don't know what to do with this child"_ fashion and sighed his exhaustion outwardly. "I'll be over on that hill resting, I'll need more energy before I cast the counter-Arte... again." He turned to leave but made sure to shoot over his shoulder, "oh and please, do try and get along."

The other five wolves looked around to each other, puzzled. Why would they do otherwise? Everyone except Tear shrugged the thought off.

That Jade was a strange one.

"_Unless he expects us to encounter someone else,"_ Tear had thought just before a massive beam of light exploded from the sky and ended with a quake when meshing with the ground.

That's when the true meaning of chaos ensued.

- Sometime in the near future -

Our heroes were suddenly joined by another pack, even more curious than themselves and they outnumbered them six to nine. Luke watched in a daze as the new pack scattered after much shouting and exclaiming curses from the newcomers when they realized their predicament.

Luke and Tear remained where they were as the brown and blond hued pair came towards them, while the red-ish and black one approached Guy and Natalia, the small white and pink pups to Anise, leaving the larger white wolf and the blue one to speak with Jade on the hill. The mahogany male sat where he was, seemingly refusing to move.

"Hey there, 'name's Lloyd. And you should know, I don't normally give my name that freely, but I get the feeling I can trust you people," the brown one greeted with a confident nod and a stupid grin.

The blond one beside him nodded ardently. "It's true! Lloyd never volunteers his name...Oh!.." she paused abruptly, as though she had forgotten something important. "And I'm Collete!"

Luke tipped his head dubiously at the pair among his glance to Tear before replying. "I'm Luke... this is Tear."

Lloyd gave another toothy grin as he lightly chucked Collete's chin. "You dope, it's not _that_ big a deal."

"_Gee, that looks familiar somehow..."_ Luke opened his mouth and turned to Tear but she already had a stubborn look on her face and a paw raised to silence him.

"Don't you say a word," the copper wolf advised, causing Luke to glare at her through a smirk.

"_She does the same thing to me and she knows it... Only, she calls me an idiot..."_

While Lloyd and Collete continued joking and laughing, the other two contemplated an argument.

Guy and Natalia on the other hand, were having a time of it...

"I'm telling you, even in this body I'm a sexy beast!" the reddish wolf proclaimed, striking a pose. "It just goes to show, true beauty transcends through time, space, and even freaky magic!"

"And I'm telling you, it's called Fomicry!" Guy growled, still seething about an earlier, degrading comment towards Natalia.

Stepping into a curious dance and a smug expression, Zelos grinned mischievously. "You're all just jealous, admit it."

Guy snarled, he had taken just about enough from this jerk. "I'll show you jealous!" Teeth bared and hackle up, the blond one leaped at the red one.

At first, Zelos yelped, not expecting such a hair-triggered reaction. But regaining his confidence in an instant, he gave his new body a run for its money and took off in an explosion of snow as Guy surged through, seeing only his prey and a new anger that drove him.

Natalia and the coal black wolf set themselves to watch the display as Zelos ran in a seemingly relaxed gallop, back and forth from left to right, spouting petty insults to his pursuer that succeeded in their intent. In reply, among his enraged hunt, Guy barked back with fruitless threats that would most likely be attempted, but never executed.

"Oi, Sheena!" Zelos called to the black one. "Let's run away together. With these bodies we'd be halfway across the continent by nightfall!"

An eye twitch automatically played over Sheena's features. "Honestly, Zelos would you just sit still and shut up for a minute?" she barked with a bit of a snarl that she hadn't intended on. Little did she know the effect her words would have on the situation.

"What the-? Oof!" In a puff of snow, something slammed Zelos to the ground, forcing Guy to stumble before leaping over the red roadblock.

Near Anise's spot on her boulder, the white pup could be heard laughing at the Chosen's sudden stop while the pink one beside him smiled with a word of agreement. Anise just snickered through a sly smirk. Things were going to get interesting...

"Hah! The big idiot, he deserved that, and I don't even need to know what he said," the white one remarked, snickering still.

"Yes Genis, the odds of him saying something offensive is a 99.9 percentage rate," the pink one replied. "It's the punishment that puzzles me. Sheena's current speed does not match up to an attack that was not seen, which concludes that she did not deal the blow herself..."

Genis blinked in an odd stupor and then gave a smirk with a cant of his head. "You know Presea, sometimes I wonder who the _real _genius is around here..."

"You guys are an odd group," Anise said, standing up atop her boulder and stretching. "You're almost as weird as us."

"Oi! Twerp, when I get a'hold of you!-" Zelos was marching over to the youngest members of the group, a scowl on his face as it usually was when the party played a trick on him. "I thought I said no more kendama practice on my head!"

Genis stood up defensively and gestured with his paw. "Do I _look_ like I can use a kendama?"

Zelos eyed him skeptically, then sat down in contemplation. "Well if it wasn't you, then who hit me?"

Brooding over in his spot some meters away and unmoving, Kratos sat, sulking in contempt of his new body. "This is ridiculous."

--

"-and so your transports should be arriving sometime after-" Jade was explaining, interrupted only when another flash of light erupted in the sky, followed by the four Rheairds as they crashed nearby, all the while Jade watched in a faded interest before finishing, "sometime after you."

Raine's ears went back in a dubious expression. "That's a little too convenient."

Regal nodded, eyes closed. "Indeed."

--

At this point, Zelos had wandered over towards the darker, more fiery colored wolf... and the female that accompanied him. What followed was nothing short of his usual provoking effect on people.

"Hey, will somebody put a leash on this guy? I have the sudden urge to put him down," Luke growled, lifting himself to all fours threateningly.

"Woah, woah," Zelos rattled off and held his paws up defensively, backing away with the intent of keeping things friendly... unlike earlier. "I didn't realize she was off limits, sorry bud."

Luke kept his steady glare, refusing to soften it until Tear nudged him. "Luke, take it easy, we don't need a fight to break out because of something stupid," she told him, her tone lined with disfavor, yet she remained right next to him, which told Luke she was grateful for his interjection.

Zelos frowned, seeing their sour temperaments he realized he had forgotten his own introduction! "Oh, my bad, I'm sure you're wondering who I am," he said, striking _another_ pose. "I am the great Ze-"

"Zelos!" Sheena shouted. She had been delayed when Raine and Regal intercepted her and held a small conference about how she would be in charge of "keeping the peace" while they conversed more with Jade in order to understand how they got here. Sheena agreed, reluctantly no doubt, and proceeded with her pursuit of keeping track of that idiot Chosen.

She grinned when she seen him cringe from behind. "Sit!" and Zelos immediately collapsed to the ground with a small quake.

"What the hell?" he moaned, slowly picking himself out of his mold in the soil. He sat up, looking around in the sky suspiciously, as if looking for his opponent. _"Something landed on me! I know it did! Am I losing my mind?"_

As Zelos continued to look around frantically, as though he would be attacked any second, Sheena smiled warmly at Luke and Tear. "Sorry about him, anyway, I'm Sheena, the idiot here is Zelos," Sheena said, her tone grumbling when reaching his name.

Tear nodded soberly. "Tear," she said, and nudged Luke, since he had started moping.

"Luke," he grumbled, barely glancing at the two newcomers; he liked Lloyd and Collete more already.

"Oi, Sheena, why you gotta hit me for?" Zelos whined as he drew beside her.

Sheena rolled her eyes and regarded him with annoyance. "I didn't hit you Zelos."

"But it had to be you!" he shot back, desperate to find the answer to his mysterious attacker. "It wasn't the twerp. Besides, you're the ninja, that means you're the only one that could pull something as freaky as that off!"

"I'm fast, but I'm not that fast," she admitted honestly, her new smile indicating her amusement on the matter. "Maybe if you _behave_, it won't happen anymore."

"But it's no fun, behaving and all," Zelos whined, his head low in a pout.

"Sit!"

"Ow!"

Sheena nodded approvingly. "I admit, this works much better than smacking you."

"It hurts a lot more too!" Zelos grumbled as he rubbed his sore head.

Luke and Tear shared an odd glance. "Are you two-?"

"Lovers?" Zelos supplied without heed to the consequences. "Yep!-"

"Sit!" Sheena growled furiously. "Don't mind him, he says that to everyone." She smiled at them nervously. "So, you have any idea why we're wolves?"

Zelos moaned, he was already laying down! "Sheeenaaa, I think you broke something that time!" he howled pathetically, hoping to win some sympathy.

"Ignore him please," Sheena muttered through clenched teeth.

Luke motioned over to the conference of Jade, Raine, and Regal. "His fault. We're just the victims."

Moments later a silence descended and Zelos had entertained himself by rolling on his back from side to side in the snow. Why this amused him remained to be seen... Since a wolf angel was hardly plausible...

Sheena's ears were pulled back in an obvious irritation to this, but technically he wasn't doing anything wrong so-

"Say, Sheena," Zelos said with a bit of sly edge, even going so far as to nudge her for her attention.

Ah, his mouth, Sheena smiled malevolently; it never failed in giving her an excuse to scold him. If only she knew what he was about ask in advance, then she would have knocked him out cold before he even had a chance to think of it, let alone speak it.

"I'm just curious, what would happen if we did it now? Would you have a baby, or a puppy?"

Three simultaneous slams followed. "Sit! _Sit! SIT!_" Sheena roared at him furiously, and she would have blushed scarlet but thank goodness wolves had not that capability. "You pervert! That was a disgusting question!"

Zelos moaned terribly from his hole in the ground. "But Sheena, aren't you curious at all?"

"No!"

"But-"

"Sit!"

The two kept at it, Zelos couldn't seem to get the hint that he was only digging himself into a deeper hole, literally.

Luke and Tear both watched in a bit of bewildered awe. Tear, for her part, was rather embarrassed, similar to Sheena's reaction, and Luke... well, he wondered if this entire experience was turning out to be a longterm bad influence on him, for he started wondering on the same thing.

With his curiosity getting the better of him, Luke looked around frantically, trying to find something to distract himself with. _"No, no, bad Luke, think happy thoughts, like Mieu, urgh! Mieu annoys me, think of something else, like... like food!"_ He turned to Tear in his frenzy. "Tear, I'm hungry, are you hungry? Let's eat!"

Meanwhile Tear had found amusement in watching the other pair argue, because by now Zelos was trying in vain to run away amongst his constant pummeling. Upon hearing her name, Tear regarded Luke calmly, and after seeing his panicked state, she tilted her head in question. "Luke, what's the matter?"

"_You mean besides hunger?" _Now he looked even more frantic; Tear had a way of seeing straight through his lies. "W-well, I-I, er- Never mind that, let's just eat already!" And with that, Luke took off, hoping to leave the whole ordeal behind him, with Tear trailing after him quizzically.

Thus leaving Sheena and Zelos to their bickering.

The three blonds plus brunette had found a common interest in another romp in the snow, once again instigated by Guy, with Genis, Presea, and Anise(not without grumbling first) joining in soon after.

The three on the hill continued their discussion.

Kratos continued to sulk in his spot, now laying on the ground he opened one eye to behold the utter folly his companions partook in, and promptly closed it again with a scoff. "Unbelievable."

--

Dusk had fallen and everyone had gathered around expectantly. They were beginning to wonder if they'd ever be turned back to normal. That or if they just couldn't seem to wake up from the weirdest dream they'd ever had.

"I understand now," Jade said after long moments of silence and contemplation. "This arte works on you all because it is in constant use in the form of an FOF, and whenever someone enters the field's range they are automatically transformed as well."

"Oh, so you mean when I go out of range I'll change back?" Luke asked the question in more of a statement form as he was already running headlong to the field's boundary...

"Luke no-!" Jade and Tear both started, but found it futile.

Jade turned to Tear and Guy. "Tear, nightmare Anise please. Guy, go take him his clothes, and everyone else," he turned to them. "Please turn away, trust me, you won't want to see this."

_Fin_

--

**- Blooper Time! -**

AN: Here's a blooper scene that I wrote, but couldn't seem to find a good spot to add in the story. I thought it was just too funny not to post, ya know?

"Honestly Zelos, can't you get your mind out of the gutter for five minutes?" Sheena hissed. _"Five Minutes?!"_

"B-But Sheena! I like the gutter," Zelos mumbled with a pout. "Besides, I'd like to think of it as more of a natural curiosity."

"Natural- There's nothing natural about it!" she seethed. "Wait... does this have anything to do with the shower incident? Because if it does-"

"Of course not!" Zelos assured her. "That was a "natural curiosity towards the unknown". This is sort of like an experiment..."

"Experiment?!" Sheena hissed, indignant now.

"Exactly," he nodded, advancing on her to a dangerous proximity. "So with that said, how about right now?"

"Zelos!"

"What?" he asked blankly. "Why wait till dark? In the daylight you can see what you're doing a lot better and-"

"Just shut up already!... Better yet, Sit!"

"Not the face!" he yelped, and shortly thereafter, he was down.

Walking away, Sheena kept muttering on about his stupidity. "I never really cared for experiments."

--

AN: Feh, not my best piece, but it was fun, and yeah, I'm sure most of you noticed that Inuyasha reference, well, that was actually just Sheena summoning Corrine, but since she's summoning him on Abyss soil, Corrine arrives invisibly and coincidentally...on top of Zelos' head. XD How I come up with this stuff is beyond me... Anywho, hope you enjoyed, please review and tell me you laughed _at least once_.


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